Today did not start off well.  I woke at 9:00 AM after two hours of sleep, and I had less than an hour to vacate my apartment before the 10:00 AM check-out time.  Clumsily and half asleep, I washed my face and crammed all my remaining stuff into my already overpacked suitcases.  I was already exhausted, cranky, and fighting off tears.  The situation only worsened when I found my new flat, and I was less than pleased.  Maintenance men were working on the place, my bags had been left unattended at the front desk instead of locked in my room as promised, and the halls kind of remind me a scary movie.

Usually, little things like today can send me into a tizzy and a spiral of self-pity.  However, this morning, I recognized my feelings, I embraced them, I let them go, and I moved on.  From the outside, I assure you I looked like a hot mess. There were many tears, most of them in public, but honestly, my energy was serene and focused.  I cried to express my frustration over my living situation, my exhaustion from not sleeping, and the general anxiety of living in a foreign country, but I didn’t dwell on those emotions.  I accepted the situation for what it was, and I got on with my day – literally putting one foot in front of the other.

I got on the Tube.

I got off at the wrong station.

I  found the nearest coffee shop with wireless internet.

I sipped a soy latte.

I drafted this post.

I got directions to Whole Foods via free WiFi.

I leisurely strolled to Whole Foods.

I soaked up the London Whole Foods experience.

I got back on the Tube.

I walked home.

I cooked myself my first homemade meal in over a week.  

Spinach, Buckwheat Pasta, Avocado Hummus, and French Dressing.

Although today did not start off great or end with a particularly positive overtone,  I feel calm, collected, and in control. More importantly, I feel content.  You know those amazing moments when life isn’t quite right but there is an overwhelming sense that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing?  Today,  I was in the that moment.  I was conscious of my surrounding, my feelings, and my reactions.  I embraced my emotions, but I didn’t let them get the best of me.  Today wasn’t anything special.  Among other things, I felt isolated, lonely, and heartbroken but I can also say that today I was truly satisfied, and even happy,  to be wandering through the streets of London alone with my thoughts.

Our lives consists of good and bad. Good times are easy to enjoy, but personally, I find life the most rewarding when I can recognize the brilliance of the bad moments and that I am, by myself, am strong enough to preserve and flourish. For as complicated as I make my own life, it is really breathtaking simple; it goes on.  The most we can do is to gracefully put our best self forward and accept the moments that are, and the serenity and peace of acceptance is a beautiful thing.

Too Zen, ya’ll? Don’t worry – I just discovered the heating in my place doesn’t work, my window is stuck in the open position, and there is an expected low of 30 degrees tonight, and I’m pretty sure any notion of zen I had earlier went out the window along with all the warm air …